I'm the worst at blogging. I either have nothing to blog about or too busy with life.
Anyhoo, so RyC and I have been engaged for about seven months now and in less than a month we'll be having our first wedding ceremony. Yes, we will have TWO weddings. The reason being that I'm Ghanaian (Ashanti). We will have a traditional Ghanaian marriage ceremony in April (as in next month!) and the "Western" wedding next year. RyC and I are very excited to take part in this ceremony. He gets to wear a snazzy Ghanaian outfits (well, so do I).
|image by Tony Matkey via|
The marriage ceremony starts with the "knocking" (kokooko) on the door ceremony. In the knocking ceremony the groom, along with his father and some elder members of the family visits the brides house to announce their marriage intentions. Often times this ceremony is performed a week or two before the actual marriage ceremony. The knocking ("kookoo ko") is derived from the Ghanaian tradition of knocking on at the entrance of a house before entering as a visitor. For the knocking ceremony the groom's family brings along two bottles on Schnapps (alcoholic drinks), some money and cola to the house to present to the brides family. In the past, and to date, the drinks are used to pour libation. (Libation is a traditional form of prayer to the ancestral spirits and God). When the drinks are presented, a designated spokesman from the grooms delegation formally asks the brides family for permission to enter the house and announce their intentions. If the drinks are accepted then it means permission has been granted to the visitors to state their intentions. The spokes person will then explain in the most lyrical language, that the groom, has seen a "beautiful flower" in the house of the brides family that he desires and would like to "uproot" that flower, not steal, from its keeper, hence they are here to ask for the brides hand in marriage and inquire about what is required in order to make that flower his own. Once the intentions are announced, the brides family may ask the groom and his family to come back at a set later date during which the brides family will investigate the grooms family background further to see a) if the family has no chronic illness or genetic disabilities in the family b) if family has a good reputation, that is no immediate family member such as a sibling, an aunt or uncle is known to be a thief, prostitute or murderer c) if the groom has no illegitimate children or has another marriage elsewhere etc. d) if the groom is of good character and well matched to the bride
Often times the background inquiry is made when the brides family knows nothing or knows little of the groom's family. If they are satisfied and pleased with what they find out, they will send a list of things to the groom and his family to provide before they can marry the bride. This list is commonly made up of, but not limited to,the following, : a) dowry /or bride price- often an undisclosed sum of money, 2 bottled drink of whisky or Gin b) Money for the brides father, 1 bottle of expensive whisky & a piece of cloth c) A pair of sandals and money for the bride of the mother d) Jewelry for the bride e) At least 6 pieces of traditional wax print cloth for the bride f) Engagement ring g) Engagement bible h) Shoes, headpieces, other gifts for the bride j) Drinks, money and food for the guests that will be present to witness the ceremony k) Money for the brothers or male cousins (if bride has no brothers)
On the set date the groom and his family, along with invited guests show up early at the brides house. The grooms family sits on one side, while the other brides family sits on the other side facing each other. Elders from both family begin the marriage ceremony with a prayer and introductions. The grooms family begins by presenting the dowry and all the other items on the list one, by one. At each stage, the items are checked to make sure everything asked on the list is being presented. Negotiation is possible if the grooms family feels too much is being asked of them. The bride is not present in all of these proceedings. The groom, although present, does speak in all of these proceedings as all the speaking and negotiation is done on his behalf by the designated spokes person from his family. Once everything has presented to the brides family, the bride would then be brought into the gathering. Because a decoy can be used to "tease" the groom, the groom is asked to verify if this is indeed his bride. Once he confirms, she is asked three times by her father if she agrees to marrying the groom. She is asked if they should accept the dowry and accompanying gifts from the grooms family. When she agrees, then the groom will slide the ring onto her fingers and kiss and hug her. An elder presents a bible to both the groom and bride as a symbol of how important religion should be in their married life. Prayers are said and blessings are given. The married couple is now congratulated and each elder in the room offers marriage advice to the new couple. Once all of this is done there is a huge celebration/reception where food & drinks are served. There is lots of music and dancing till nightfall.
I'm also happy that my friends and RyC's family will be experiencing first hand, a special Ghanaian wedding tradition.